Salt n the wounds

So I am debating on just closing my facebook for a little while.. I now have 4 preggo friends on there... I sign on last night and first thing I see is the stork is coming to our house in February.. I got tears in my eyes.. I mean come on I was having a stork come to my house just barely two weeks ago.. and now it's gone.. just what I want to read!! So, of coarse all my bad events replay in my mind. Day before my friend that was due a day after me posted up her ultrasound pics and like a few days prior the other girl posted up she was going to see the heartbeat for the the first time.. like all the things I wanted to experience and I don't get to. It's just depressing and sad. My anxiety has seem to be up a little since all of this has gone on. I feel like I need a break a vacation a get away something to get this all off my mind. I just want to jump out of my skin. I'm normally not this emotional of a person, or maybe I am but I just keep it bottled up inside and don't express it, maybe it's still all the pregnancy hormones.. at some point I just want to be back to myself not this mushy sap that every little baby thing bothers me. People can say there sorry and everything, I use to tell people that had a loss I am sorry, but you truely cannot relate with that person until you've actually been there and I probably never would have believed them prior to this. I just truely can't get over this hump just yet I really wanted this and this is coming from a person that a few years ago never really wanted kids or at least it just wasn't on my mind at that time in my life. Now it's on my mind daily, constantly.. my heart is heavy. it's not like I can put a time limit on this for how long I feel bad. It'd be nice if I was like ok it's been almost two weeks cheer up, feel better.. it just isn't working like a light switch. I think about these ladies on the forums and their estimated due dates come and go and they are still not pregnant.. all I can do is think I don't want to be that person... am I gunna be.